[Verse 1]

Watching TV with Mama the other night,

News man came on and gave me a fright,

Said AI and robots will soon take my job,

Every vein in my body began to throb.

[Verse 2]

To hell with that I said with an angry grin,

Then they showed a robot woman that looked like a ten.

My eyes bugged out as they zoomed in close,

She ain’t replacing my wife I began to boast.

[Verse 3]

For thirty thousand dollars we can ship to your door,

I said turn the volume up Mama, I want to hear more.

She can cook, do laundry, and clean the house

Do any chore you can think of as quite as a mouse.

[Verse 4]

She was 5 feet 8 with deep blue eyes,

Tiny little waist with thunder thighs,

Long blond hair with a movie star face,

No sign she wasn’t human, not even a trace.

[Chorus]

I placed an order for a robot wife,

No more nagging and no more strife.

Mama ain’t complaining she lives next door,

With her robot husband mopping the floor.

[Verse 5]

I called the robot company the very next day,

Said I have a few questions before I pay,

Would my robot wife every nag or whine,

Will she leave me and take half what’s mine.

[Verse 6]

Would she run my credit cards up and shop every day,

Would she complain when my poker buddies come to play,

Would she chew me out when the toilet’s lids up?

Would she ever ask if I could spare a buck?

[Verse 7]

Would she ever refuse to follow a rule,

Will she ever complain if I buy a new tool.

Will she get angry when I’m hunting or fishing,

Will she say no to anything I’m wishing.

[Verse 8]

When they said no to every question I had,

We struck a deal and the price wasn’t bad,

They offered financing, so I bought her on time,

In 36 months, she will be all mine.

[Chorus]

I placed an order for a robot wife,

No more nagging and no more strife.

Mama ain’t complaining she lives next door,

With her robot husband mopping the floor.

[Verse 9]

Now me and Mama’s watching TV one year later,

I’m making monthly installments as if I hate her.

Her robot husband ran off with my robot wife.

They took my truck and destroyed my life.

[piano and guitar solo]

[Outro]

If I ever find them, we’ll see who has the smarts,

I’ll take out my cutting torch and sell them for parts.

Now it’s back to nagging and the life that we had,

I’m down sixty thousand dollars but the food’s not bad.