[Verse 1]
The valet took my Corvette keys with a big smile,
Pointed us to the Christmas party’s grand aisle.
I walked up to that mansion feelin’ broke and tense,
But my girlfriend’s dress was worth every cent.

[Verse 2]
My boss greeted me with a firm handshake,
Then his wife showed up… Lord, give me a break.
Bless her heart, she had more jewels than teeth,
When my girl walked in all jaws hit the wreath.

[Chorus]
They got gold on the walls, and shrimp piled high,
Fancy cheese I can’t pronounce even if I try.
But with my baby on my arm, I’m feelin’ just right—
If I had the boss man’s money, I’d get a new wife.
And if he drove my car, he could have my life.

[Verse 3]
Them lawyers all sipped on twelve-dollar beers,
Talkin’ mergers and yachts and fiscal years.
I kept noddin’ like I knew what they meant,
But my baby’s smile was my main event.

Verse 4
We snacked on oysters and some snail in a shell,
Heard one guy braggin’ ’bout his house in Vail.
But when I saw them starin’ at my gal’s eyes,
I thought, “Y’all got cash, but I got the prize.”

[Chorus]
They got gold on the walls, and shrimp piled high,
Fancy cheese I can’t pronounce even if I try.
But with my baby on my arm, I’m feelin’ just right—
If I had the boss man’s money, I’d get a new wife.
And if he drove my car, he could have my life.

[Verse 5]
Dom Perignon was goin’ down smooth,
The band was tappin’ that country groove.
Then I grabbed the mic like a rodeo clown,
Jumped on the table and laid it down.

[Verse 6]
I sang out loud with a Mick Jagger grin,
“Y’all look stiff, let the redneck in!”
The band kept playin’, folks clapped along,
And I made up the words to my own dang song.

[Chorus]
They got gold on the walls, and shrimp piled high,
Fancy cheese I can’t pronounce even if I try.
But with my baby on my arm, I’m feelin’ just right—
If I had the boss man’s money, I’d get a new wife.
And if he drove my car, he could have my life.

[Verse 7]
Now Monday’s comin’, I might get canned,
But they all laughed and gave me a hand.
My boss winked and said, “Son, you’re a riot!”
I said, “I might be broke, but I ain’t quiet!”

[Chorus]
They got gold on the walls, and shrimp piled high,
Fancy cheese I can’t pronounce even if I try.
But with my baby on my arm, I’m feelin’ just right—
If I had the boss man’s money, I’d get a new wife.
And ifhe drove my car, he could have my life.

Copyright August 7, 2025, by Craig Whitley – All Rights Reserved