[Verse 1]
I was knee-high to a grasshopper, first saw her sweet grin,
Now I’m fixin’ to ask her out, where do I begin?
She’s finer than frog hair split four ways, that’s true,
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers, what’ll I do?
Heart’s poundin’ like a bat out of hell, what in Sam Hill now?
[Verse 2]
I reckoned I’d go whole hog, put on my Sunday best,
But tripped cattywampus, landed in a fine old mess.
She laughed and said, “Bless your heart, you’re stove up today,”
Plumb wore slap out, but I wouldn’t walk away.
Tried to gimme some sugar, spilled the sweet tea instead.
[Prechorus]
This ain’t my first rodeo, but I’m fit to be tied,
Feelin’ slower than a bump on a log, can’t let pride subside.
[Chorus]
Barking up the wrong tree, chasin’ love ’til cows come home,
Sweatin’ like a sinner on Sunday, feelin’ all alone.
If I had my druthers, I’d hold your horses, make you mine,
You’re happy as a pig in slop, darlin’, that’d be fine.
[Verse 3]
We danced under stars hotter than blue blazes that night,
But I stepped on her toes, she got madder than a wet hen, all right.
I said, “Hold your horses, I’m sorrier than sorry can be,”
Like whiskey in a teacup, she’s strong but sweet to me.
Tried smoothin’ it over, went like a lead balloon.
[Verse 4]
Brought flowers next time, but they tumped over in the truck,
She hollered, “You’re in a pickle now, plumb out of luck!”
Runnin’ like a chicken with its head cut off, no lie,
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger, ’bout ready to cry.
But she grinned through the ruckus, “Too big for your britches, son.”
[Prechorus]
This love’s a hissy fit, but I’m hankerin’ for more,
Preachin’ to the choir, knockin’ right on heaven’s door.
[Chorus]
Barking up the wrong tree, chasin’ love ’til cows come home,
Sweatin’ like a sinner on Sunday, feelin’ all alone.
If I had my druthers, I’d hold your horses, make you mine,
You’re happy as a pig in slop, darlin’, that’d be fine.
[Bridge]
I told her how the cow ate the cabbage, laid my heart on the line,
Said, “Can’t run with the big dogs? Stay on the porch, that’s fine.”
We laughed ’til full as a tick after Sunday dinner’s spread,
Both rode hard and put up wet, but together we’re ahead.
[Verse 5]
Now we’re hitched, bright eyed and bushy tailed each dawn,
No more flyin’ off the handle, all our troubles gone.
She don’t poke the bear, door don’t hit where the Lord splitya,
Goin’ whole hog, happier than pigs in slop, hallelujah.
From knee-high dreams to forever, we’ve weathered the storm.
[Prechorus]
Life’s a gully washer, but we’ve hunkered down tight,
No more piddlin’ around, everything’s just right.
[Chorus]
Ain’tbarking up the wrong tree, home when cows come in,
No sweatin’ like a sinner Sunday, love’s sweet win.
If I had my druthers, hold your horses every day,
Happy as a pig in slop, darlin’, that’s our way.
[Outro]
If love feels like a conniption, just skedaddle on through,
Worth every dadgummit minute—I reckon that’s trueeeee!
Barking up the wrong tree!
Barking up the wrong tree!
Barking up the wrong tree!
Copyright December 20, 2025, by Stephen Craig Whitley – All Rights Reserved
